College essay and the quest for meaning and happiness

The Happiness Prescription



One goal of this class is to provide you with the space to examine what you want out of life, to help you live intentionally, rather than aimlessly or according to someone else's script. 

We want this goal for seeking a fulfilling life to influence everything from your choices about college and work after high school,to what you choose to read for independent reading.  And to that end, we will try to introduce you to ideas and  resources which provide diverse ways of examining what matters in life. 


And, by the way, as we examine our lives and the lives of others, try not too get too high or too low about your own life.  Ups and downs are part of all of our lives, and struggle - much more than success, ironically - is the path to wisdom, salvation, and peace no matter how you understand those words.


While watching the video, take some brief ongoing notes, and every ten minutes or so, I will stop the video and ask you to paraphrase (i.e., in your own words) in the left-hand colum at least one thing that Chopra said which caught your attention. In the right hand column, describe your reaction to it.  Why did it capture your attention? How might it apply to your life (or someone you know).


Homework: 

(due Wed, Sept 6)  - 2nd  draft (typed) is due Wednesday, September 6. (Peer feedback) –

•  5 points or zero (for typed 400 word to 650 word essay – visual check in)

(due Fri, Sept 8)  -3^rd draft (typed) 

•   50 points provide - I provide feedback, and this draft gets a grade based on rubric. I will return it to you September 15.

Due Friday, September 22 - Final  draft(4^th ) 

• 10 completion points for handing in a typed final draft with annotated changes based on feedback from myself and others  

Read the following essay and assess it using our college essay rubric. We will review in your assessment of the essay at the beginning of class tomorrow, and then we will do peer reviews of one another's essays/ 

Found in Translation

 Oscar Guzman, Swarthmore College / Jones College Prep

"You are no less than them," my tia Nancy would say. My aunt was also my grammar school tutor and the first in the Guzman family to attend college. Not only did she lecture me academically, but she also transformed me into a real Guzman, an individual with dreams. Thanks to my aunt's support, I was the top student in my class, receiving straight A report cards. When I started attending a magnet high school, I began to travel 45 minutes outside of my neighborhood. The transition of environments consisted of numerous changes.

For the past four years of my high school life, I have beaten myself to the ground, making sure that I obtain passing grades and proving myself capable of climbing the highest mountains.

I am more than a number. That's why a test score was not going to prevent me from obtaining my goals. What hurt the most was not the discouragement provided by my college counselor from applying to selective colleges. Instead, it was her proposal to stop speaking Spanish at home. To her, my language was a barrier to success.

To this day, I have never viewed the Spanish language as a fence. Instead, I have seen it as a linguistic beauty that has been passed down in the family for generations. It has been a language that defines who I am, and I was not going to let a counselor remove my identity. Even though I disagreed with her thoughts, they still affected me. Her thoughts forced me to question, "Will having learned Spanish as a first language affect my future goals? How about my children?"

For the past 18 years, I have encountered many obstacles. People have undermined my potential for not portraying the image of the "American" person, for not reacting to issues in the same manner or solely for not speaking the English language. The main point to this issue is that I have always been capable of doing these things; the difference is that since birth, my ideas and interests are different, causing me to look at the world from a different perspective.

On April 28, 2003, my aunt Nancy delivered her first baby boy, Adrian Villafranca. It has been over two years since his birth and his first language is Spanish. As I look at Adrian's face every time I visit him, I think about the struggles that he will encounter as he grows. He will face discouragement, racism and hate. Adrian will experience these injustices simply because of the color of his skin and the culture that he was born into. I know that I will do the same for Adrian

as his mother did for me, I will teach him how to appreciate the unique and beautiful culture that surrounds him every day. As a Mexican-American, he will have to carry a great cargo like I've done for the past 18 years, and I wish him a lucky passage.

While Adrian joyously dances around the pastel-colored walls surrounding his room, I quickly realize what an innocent little boy he is, a boy unaware of the mountains that await him. In my heart, I know that he will climb them.

College Narrative-Essay Rubric

	Exemplary	Adequate	Inadequate
Focus/ Central Argument	-The essay fully engages the reader and vividly develops the essay prompt.  -A crisp and memorable person is revealed.	-The essay holds the reader’s attention and successfully develops the essay prompt. -A distinct personality is created.	-The reader may lose interest in or forget the focus of the essay. -The writer is not memorable.
Evidence	-The reader is likely to tell another person about this student/essay. -The writer has effectively used the “Show, Don’t Tell” strategy. -Descriptive details provide voice and support the focus/inform the reader about the student.  Unnecessary details are omitted	-The reader recognizes positive qualities the student/essay possesses. -Writer has mostly used the “Show, Don’t Tell” strategy.  -Descriptive details are present but may not be consistent throughout, may be overdone or may not always be necessary.	-The reader may be left wondering what distinguishes this student from others.  -The prompt may be answered but with little depth or insight. -Writing lacks vivid detail and/or distracts the reader with unnecessary tangents.
Voice/tone	-Tone is professional but not stuffy.  It is consistent throughout -Voice is natural and appropriate for the essay and essay prompt.  -Essay flows well with natural transitions and organization.	-Tone is professional and appropriate. -The student’s voice is apparent. -There are no organizational issues in the essay.	-Tone is routine, awkward or inappropriate. -One has no sense of the student’s voice. -Organizational strategy is unclear.
Style/mechanics	-Sentence structure and diction are varied and enhance the essay to create a coherent, cohesive and unified whole. -Essay avoids too much jargon and/or clichés. -No noticeable mechanical errors.	-Sentence structure and diction are accurate and avoid glaring redundancies. -Essay avoids clichés. -There no glaring errors.	-Errors and/or redundancies in sentence structure or diction are apparent. -The essay or parts of the essay appear unoriginal. -Mechanical errors are distracting.