College Essay 1st draft due

* Check for completion of college essay draft 1

* Look at one example of a less successful college essay to help you avoid similar pitfalls - walk through it and evaluate it with the rubric

* Review new rubric to replace the one on the assignment (which frankly is not specific enough to be useful)

* Respectful but helpful peer reviews

* Deepak Chopra?

Addendum to the College Essay Assignment (schedule) and revised rubric

1st typed draft is due Friday, September 1. Read rubric and self-edit . (visual check in; possible 10 completion points

• 10 points for a typed essay - of at least 400 words; do not exceed 650 words. 
• 5 points if it is not typed
•  0 points if it is too short or you have nothing

2nd  draft (typed) is due Wednesday, September 6. (Peer feedback) –

•  5 points or zero (for typed 400 word to 650 word essay – visual check in)

3^rd draft (typed) due to Mr. Wesley, September 8.

• ·       50 points provide - I provide feedback, and this draft gets a grade based on rubric. I will return it to you September 15.

Final (4^th ) due Friday, September 22.

• ·       10 completion points for handing in a typed final draft with annotated changes based on feedback from myself and others  

College Narrative-Essay Rubric

	Exemplary	Adequate	Inadequate
Focus/ Central Argument	-The essay fully engages the reader and vividly develops the essay prompt. -A crisp and memorable person is revealed.	-The essay holds the reader’s attention and successfully develops the essay prompt. -A distinct personality is created.	-The reader may lose interest in or forget the focus of the essay. -The writer is not memorable.
Evidence	-The reader is likely to tell another person about this student/essay. -The writer has effectively used the “Show, Don’t Tell” strategy. -Descriptive details provide voice and support the focus/inform the reader about the student.  Unnecessary details are omitted	-The reader recognizes positive qualities the student/essay possesses. -Writer has mostly used the “Show, Don’t Tell” strategy.  -Descriptive details are present but may not be consistent throughout, may be overdone or may not always be necessary.	-The reader may be left wondering what distinguishes this student from others.  -The prompt may be answered but with little depth or insight. -Writing lacks vivid detail and/or distracts the reader with unnecessary tangents.
Voice/tone	-Tone is professional but not stuffy.  It is consistent throughout -Voice is natural and appropriate for the essay and essay prompt.  -Essay flows well with natural transitions and organization.	-Tone is professional and appropriate. -The student’s voice is apparent. -There are no organizational issues in the essay.	-Tone is routine, awkward or inappropriate. -One has no sense of the student’s voice. -Organizational strategy is unclear.
Style/mechanics	-Sentence structure and diction are varied and enhance the essay to create a coherent, cohesive and unified whole. -Essay avoids too much jargon and/or clichés. -No noticeable mechanical errors.	-Sentence structure and diction are accurate and avoid glaring redundancies. -Essay avoids clichés. -There no glaring errors.	-Errors and/or redundancies in sentence structure or diction are apparent. -The essay or parts of the essay appear unoriginal. -Mechanical errors are distracting.

Provide Comments on the back

COMMENTS: (Provide specific comments on the strengths and weaknesses of each of the four areas you are assessing above: focus/central story, evidence, voice/tone, style)

Focus/central story:

Evidence:

Voice/tone

Conventions/style

Search for Happiness, Meaning, and Fulfillment Mini-Unit (and the college essay)

So, in the next few weeks we are working on two things 1) your college essay and 2) finding or making meaning and happiness in your life. Both can be challenging, but we're going to work on them.

Last night's homework...

Brainstorm three possible college essay topics

Talk to someone about your college essay narrative assignment and see if they can help you chose a personal story to tell. Remember, you want to show a good or mature or self aware side of you without sounding like you're bragging. It should, most of all, somehow help the college admission's staff see you as a human being they can connect with.

Once, you have chosen a prompt, begin writing a rough draft.  Finish at least two paragraphs, and bring it to school tomorrow.  I will show you a couple of writing moves tomorrow which you can apply to your evolving draft if you so desire.

Finish reading the college essay sample (written by Katherine Glass) we started reading the other day. Assess it using the guiding questions.

Identify one snapshot and thoughtshot.  Try to have a mix in your writing.

Review a less successful essay

Tonight's homework:

Finish typing your first draft of your college essay.  It is due tomorrow. (up to 10 points credit)
10 points for a typed essay - of at least 400 words; do not exceed 650 words.  
5 points if it is not typed
0 points if it is too short or you have nothing

Tomorrow...
Discuss the strong example
Look at a weaker example
Exploding the moment
Thoughtshot vs. snapshots

Self-edit your essay based on mini-lesson

Today we focus on the meaning and happiness...

Search for Happiness, Meaning, and Fulfillment Mini-Unit

Hand in your college application letter brainstorming sheet.  I will check them in and return them to you.  For each of the three possible narrative topics/moments you identified from your life, write the corresponding common app prompt.  (You can simply put the common app prompt number (1-6) in parentheses at the end of the brief description (two to three sentences) of each narrative topic.

e.g.,

For prompt #1, I might write about the neighborhood yaredcare business I started in 7th grade and continue to this day.  It has taught me so much about initiative, how to make and manage money, and the importance of doing a job well, that you might be able to say that it helped me to grow up and has shaped my character. It taught me to manage my time, take pride, and be accountable and responsible to others.  I wouldn't be the same person without this experience (1)

Now, please
Independent Reading (15 minutes)

On a notecard...
One side of notecard...
What is the title of text?
Who is the author?
Year of publication?
What is the genre?
How did you learn about this text? From who or what?
What is it about (as far as you can tell)? Provide a brief summary describing the text?

The other side of notecard...
Why did you chose this book, magazine, or other text?
What is one "take-away" from today's reading? In other words, describe a moment, statement, of maybe a piece of information that stuck with you?

Please hand in your notecard (include your name, class period, and date in the upper right hand corner)

The Quest for Meaning & Happiness in Life
Deepak Chopra:The Happiness Prescription

We heard Mihaly C., the European psychologist,  describe how certain activities can create a sense of "flow" for us. Those activities could be creative, work-based, physical, spiritual, intellectual or some mix, but the common denominator is that a person experiencing flow experience great sense of engagement and satisfaction, so much so that they almost lose their sense of time, their worries, or the world at large. They are in the "flow", in the zone.

In Deepack Chopra's, The Happiness Prescription, we'll see a  different take on the attempt to find peace or happiness.  Chopra tackles the challenge from a primarily spiritual perspective, integrating mostly Buddhist - but also Christian ideas - (and of course these ideas are present in one form or another in most other major world religions, such as Judaism, Taoism and Islam).  And of course, spiritual ideas invariably involve psychology, biology, and philosophy, and so those ideas are intertwined as well.  Watch and take notes. Try to learn about Chopra's interpretaion of one of the world religion's teachings, and how he  thinks it  might benefit people.  If it speaks to you in some way, cool.  If it is not your cup of tea, that's cool too.  We're just trying to present a sampling of some different ways people seek to cultivate peace and meaning in their lives, to live consciously, which as young adults, I challenge you to do. Much of the world, frankly, sleepwalks through their life.  Try to be more intentional in your own.

Talking Points...I will stop the video occasionally to remind you to write down some idea that stuck out for you for some reason. Write down what he said along with a couple of sentences explaining why it resonated with you.  We will discuss these tomorrow.

Tonight's homework...Talk to someone about your college essay narrative assignment and see if they can help you chose a personal story to tell. Remember, you want to show a good or mature or self aware side of you without sounding like you're bragging. It should, most of all, somehow help the college admission's staff see you as a human being they can connect with.

Once, you have chosen a prompt, begin writing a rough draft.  Finish at least two paragraphs, and bring it to school tomorrow.  I will show you a couple of writing moves tomorrow which you can apply to your evolving draft if you so desire.

Storytelling and the College Essay

Independent Reading for 15 mins tomorrow

Find something good to read...be ready to do a journal on why you chose this text to read.

Today...

Introduce "Narrative Writing and the College Essay"

Time Permitting...Deepak Chopra...The Happiness Prescription

Homework:..brain storm possible moments, events in your life that could be the focus of one of the Common App prompts.  Have a list of three possible narrative topics with a two sentence descption of why it work for on of the common app prompts. Make sure to identify the number of corresponding common app prompt.  

Have a book or magazine to read for tomorrow (3 points)

Searching for meaning, fulfillment and happiness

Bellringer...Figuring out what you want to read this quarter (and perhaps beyond...)
(10 minutes).

Answer the questions below and then hand it in to Mr. Wesley when finished.

1) What are your interests in life? What excites you?
2) What is something that you don't know that much about, but would like to learn more about?
3)What do you want to learn more about this year? 4) What are some ways that you feel personal choice reading could help you find enjoyment and fulfillment?  
5) Finally, during our independent reading time in the first quarter, what do you think you want to read?

Note: Independent Reading Time (15 mins)...will be moved to the first 15 mins of class tomorrow.  Make sure you have something you want to read.

Meaning And Fulfillment Unit

Psychological Lens
Mr. C's presentation looks at happiness and fulfillment through a psychological lense.

Flow.  How do you get in the flow? Watch the remainder of the video and use the Talking Points handout to capture your take-away points and reactions to the second half of Flow.

Quick ticket...Name and period

When have you experienced the kind of focus and fulfillment that Mihaly describes as "flow"?  What were you doing?

A spiritual/religious lens...
Deepak Chopra examines happiness and meaning through an essentially religious lens (primarily Eastern - Buddhism especially - with some cross references to Christianity). Take notes (Talking Points)
The Happiness Prescription

Foreign Film Friday and Narrative #1 PERA pre-assessment

Memories and Movies

First 25-30 minutes of class:

Narrative writing experience #1 (5 points - helps me get to know you a little better as a writer and a human being) : Authors reveal characters and settings with vivid descriptions, including real-life characters, settings and events. Using your own personal, original voice, well-chosen details and techniques, describe a moment you experienced this summer.

Last 15 minutes of class

Foreign Film Friday...Our first foreign film is from Down Under (Australia) and has no words (so no need to translate Australian, haha...Kriiikey!!

and Feel Good Friday

Birth of the Camera Phone

Next week...

We will finish the "Flow" Ted talk on Monday
We will talk more about creating meaning and fulfillment in our lives
We will begin working on narrative writing skills by applying them to writing a college app letter

Homework: Find a book, magazine, graphic novel, etc. that you would like to read for half of class on Monday.  Mondays will typically include 20-25 minutes of quiet reading time, so find a book or magazine about something you enjoy or want to learn more about and bring it on Monday. 

Birth and the Camera Phone

4) After you have completed your poster, walk around to read and write comments next to bullet points on other groups posters.  Each of you should write at least two comments on each of the other posters. Your comments could take the form of words or symbols, emojis, pictures, and they should be school appropriate (don't be mean or vulgar or ignorant).

After you have finished commenting, circle back to your own poster to see comments shared by others.  

Finally, we will have whole class discussion/sharing.

Mini-Unit One:  Hope, Happiness and Meaning

We are beginning our year with a look at hope, happiness and meaning. 

What are some things that contribute to hope, happiness, and meaning in life?

What kinds of things keep us from hope, happiness and fulfillment?

Lost in Space

Ummm, so why do I have this notecard, Mr. Wesley....?

So glad you asked.

Side 1: What is one thing that you are anxious/nervous about for this year?

Side 2: What is one thing that you are excited about for this year?

Unpacking your space capsules

1) Form groups of three with the members of your row (we might have one group of two). Arrange your desks so that you are not in a row, but rather, in a tight triangle.

2) Share your paragraphs aloud with one another. First, the America paragraph, then the World paragraph.

3) After you have shared, put each of your group member's America and World traits on the big poster sheet of paper. You can write them as bullet points, and organize them either in two separate columns or as a Venn diagram, or in some other way.  Write legibly! 

4) After you have completed your poster, walk around to read and write comments next to bullet points on other groups posters.  Each of you should write at least two comments on each of the other posters. Your comments could take the form of words or symbols, emojis, pictures, and they should be school appropriate (don't be mean or vulgar or ignorant).

After you have finished commenting, circle back to your own poster to see comments shared by others.  

Finally, we will have whole class discussion/sharing.


Hand in your paragraphs (5 points) before you leave!

Time permitting...Wagon Wheel

No homework

Introduction Letter

August 22, 2017 World Perspectives

wesleyworldperspectives.blogspot.com/

  (add it to your favorites/bookmarks etc. on your phone/computer)

Speaking of phones...here is the phone policy for our course.

Prd 6 12:29-1:17

Prd 7 1:23-2:11

•  No headphones.
• All phones must be placed on the desk to the immediate right of your keyboards. Please don't make me remind you each day! From now on, we will keep cellphones on the right hand corner of your desk whether in the classroom or a computer lab. That way, you will have them ready if we need them for a class activity, but this will hopefully minimize texting and other distractions during class.

Goals for Today

1) Sign up for turnitin.com 
2) Due by the end of class (5 points for satisfactory effort): Write a thoughtful and thorough introduction letter (print two copies - one for you to keep and one to hand in to me - and submit a digital copy to turnitin.com) - 5 points for satisfactory completion. Make sure it has a complete LT Heading.

LT Heading

(your name)

(teacher’s name)

(class name and period)

(date)

3) Add this blog to your favorites/bookmarks on your phone and computer 
https://wesleyworldperspectives.blogspot.com/

4) Homework: Due tomorrow - 5 points (no late papers accepted) Unless you’ve been living in a bubble, you know there was an eclipse yesterday. This got a lot of people thinking about space and intelligent life beyond our sweet old Earth. Soooooo....
Paragraph 1: If you were going to launch a small capsule into space to give possible intelligent, alien life a sense of American life and culture, what would you include?  Write a well-developed paragraph that provides at least five reflections/information that you think would be essential for understanding American life and culture.

Paragraph 2: What about life on Earth as a whole (not just the US)?  What would you tell them to give them a sense about human life and culture outside of America? What do they need to know? Write a well-developed paragraph addressing the must-knows about human life and culture on Earth in general (beyond America).   

This is due tomorrow (no late papers accepted) - 5 points. Make sure it has a full LT heading.

Print a copy and bring it to class for tomorrow. 

Welcome to World Perspectives and my blog (I generally use this instead of Canvas)

Schedule:
1: 3AP Lang & Comp - N210
2: Planning Period 
3: 3AP Lang & Comp - N210
4: Drop-in Language Arts - N221
5: Planning & Lunch
6: 4P World Perspectivess - N210
7: 4P World Perspsectives - N210
8: 3AP Lang & Comp - N210

LTTV Eclipse

Typical Weekly Schedule

Mon	Tues	Wed	Thurs	Frid
Weekly Schedule/ Reading	Writing & Discussion	Reading	Writing & Discussion	TBD

My background

• Education: Undergrad and Grad 
• Professional - Envirnomental and Teaching
• Daughter is an LT Grad

- Attendance...please let me know if I mispronounce your name or if you go by a nickname

- Review syllabus...Day 1

Homework: 
Enroll in turnitin.com (make sure you enroll in the correct section!). The class sections/numbers are provided below. The enrollment key for every section is WESLEY (all caps)

15882991            4P prd 6 sem 1 1718

15883017            4P prd 7 sem 1 1718